Puyallup Live Blog, Pt. 1

Hello, and welcome to your official, in the non-official sense of the word, live blog for the Puyallup Fair on a momentous Sunday, September 10, in the year of the Lord 2006. I am currently stationed inside our warehouse, right where the magic happens. And believe me, there is magic in this warehouse, and all over these fair grounds. Well, either magic or the ghosts of Japanese citizens interned here during World War II. Here's a run-down of my morning thus far:

8:17-I leave Bellevue. Depeche Mode is my accompaniment for the drive. Depeche Mode is the single greatest band in human history to drive to. That's a fact. You can't even argue that.

8:59-I get to the warehouse. My computer has been taken over by Robbie, one of the warehouse workers. He is from Kelowna, BC, and I've discovered that he plays professional indoor lacrosse. I had no clue there was a league for indoor lacrosse. You know it's a good day when you discover a new sports league at a time when you'd normally be asleep.

9:12-Grab my first cup of coffee. There will be many more to come.

9:41-I come to two realizations, both good. My day has been blissfully carnie-free thus far, and the first Sunday of the NFL season starts in 19 minutes. This may be the greatest benefit of living on the west coast. Football starts at 10 in the morning on Sundays. What a country we live in. ("God Bless America" swells in the background as a single tear rolls down my cheek, coming to a rest in the dense tangles of my mutton chops.)

There will also be an intriguing subplot running through today's NFL games. The Seattle Times runs a contest called Guest Guesser, where you predict the outcome of 20 football games a week, 10 college and 10 pro. I some how hit all ten college games yesterday, and I don't even particularly like college football. If I hit all 20 games, I win $1000 and an opportunity to win a trip to the Super Bowl. And yes, there is now no way in hell I can win after that jinx. Just for kicks, here are the teams I need to win: Seattle, Tampa Bay, Kansas City, Denver, Cleveland, Tennessee, Chicago, Jacksonville, Arizona, and Indianapolis.

10:02-NFL games starting, and I have yet to receive a phone call or be contacted on my walkie-talkie. Also, the incredibly loud roller coaster directly in front of me through the bay door of the warehouse is not running yet. My day has nowhere to go but down.

10:13-I fill an order for 12 plush pink poodles on a leash. I die a little bit inside. Seahawks first drive is stopped by a blocked FG attempt.

10:31-Seahawks have ball at their own 11 after a Detroit punt. Shaun Alexander has already lost a fumble today. Football Outsiders have the Seahawks predicted to be the best team in the league this year, by a pretty big margin, with the best offense and the 2nd best defense. My Super Bowl sleepers, the San Diego Chargers, are ranked 3rd overall, behind Indianapolis. The roller coaster has began operations.

10:58-Getting kind of busy. My first stock boy is in, Chris. I have no clue where they find these stock boys. Chris looks like all of his teeth have been shifted one to the right, and then every other one was removed. I wish this was an exaggeration. Did I mention he has a child, and is working this job to pay his child support? Meanwhile, the Seahawks appear to be dominating the Lions in every aspect but the scoreboard. Matt Hasselbeck is the man.

11:16-As the first group of NFL games nears halftime, I'm getting absolutely killed. Seahawks are winning, but Tampa, KC, Tennessee, Denver, and Cleveland are losing. Tampa, Denver and Kansas City are losing by double-digits, with Cleveland down 9.

11:49-Ken the Canadian warehouse manager who prefaces everything with "fuckin" or "motherfuckin" has arrived. My day just got a whole lot louder. Cleveland and Denver are showing signs of life.

12:15-I forgot to write that earlier there was a debacle about the fact that the frog-shaped guns that blow out bubbles were not working. It was very important, apparently. Bubble guns are selling like hot cakes. Or maybe they're selling so well that hot cakes are selling like bubble guns? I used to have a readership, but I blew all their minds with that one. So now no one reads my blog.

And thus concludes part one of this live blog.