With sad resignation, football season bares its breasts

As depressing as the Mariners have been lately, it couldn't come at a better time, coinciding with the beginning of the NFL preseason. As unbearable as preseason football may be, it's nice to have it as a signal of a season worth looking forward to, as this year's Seahawks may actually be a better team than the Super Bowl squad. With their talent and their abysmal division, the Hawks would have to completely shit the bed to end up with fewer than eleven wins. Looking at their schedule, they have five potentially difficult games: Giants at home, at Chicago, at KC, at Denver, and San Diego (a whale's vagina) at home; if they even go 2-3 in these games, they should be able to get home field advantage through the playoffs. If not for being matched up with the very strong AFC West for their non-conference games, the Hawks would have the easiest schedule in the league. The NFC West is a joke; I would be surprised to see the Hawks lose a division game. As much as people like to think that the Cardinals will be competitive, real life doesn't act the same as fantasy football. Having two amazing wide receivers doesn't cover up the fact that they have an average defense and possibly the worst offensive line in the game. Last year they were a historically terrible running team, and Edgerrin James will help, but not nearly as much as some would believe. He's leaving one of the top lines in the game to run behind a line that was ranked 32nd in Football Outsiders' stat Adjusted Line Yards last year, a stat that assigns responsibility to the offensive line for running back carries. Indianapolis was best in the league in Adjusted Line Yards. Also, teams will also be able to focus on James more than they could when he was with Indy, because even as good as Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are, its Kurt Warner getting them the ball, and not Peyton Manning. Finally, James passed the 370 carry threshold last season, including his playoff carries, and also had 44 catches to go with that, so he's carrying a pretty high injury risk. The last year he passed the 370 carry mark was 2000, and the next season he tore his ACL. When you also factor in the fact that Kurt Warner's deal with the devil expired after 2001, you've got a team that looks like, well, the Arizona Cardinals, perennial suckhouse. Anyway, don't believe the hype about Arizona. At least they have a crazy-ass new stadium.


As far as the rest of the division, the 49ers will be terrible again, as they failed to address any of their needs on offense in the off-season, and they'll have to live with the fact that they're giving $50 million to Alex Smith, whose freakishly small hands cause him to fumble every time he is touched while holding the football. As far as the Rams, I think folks'll be shocked to see just how bad they are this year. A lot of people still have visions of the Greatest Show on Turf dancing through their minds, but this team is an atrocity. It's just too bad Mike Martz is no longer prominently involved.


Anyway, I should have something up soon, hopefully about gambling!!! Yay, gambling!!!